To pursue something more than what limits you. To go beyond the normal tendencies of our emotions. We feel this echo of ourselves that we’ve grown from into another person, renewed or broken down. Our beings are constantly changing. All the time. I walked into this beloved bookstore I used to go to. I love the ins and outs of each aisle; passing by gems of information. A new recipe here and a photograph there. I picked up a children’s book I never read before. The lines of the illustrations; the amusing story and the takeaway at the end. Life is not simple. We don’t live in dreams or fantasies. But that doesn’t mean there is no fun. There is and can be and ought to be. That’s what little happy surprises do to us. Like seeing the sunsets we weren’t planning on seeing. Hearing a child laugh or feeling a warm breeze in the summer night.
One book I encountered was about a Taiwanese artist named Tehching Hsieh. He had devoted several years to art performance and if you research more, there’s this intriguing fluid message about time that will wash upon you. At least for me. What is our time? What do you think of time and how do you use it? The art of being human coalesce into the continuing calculation of time is what Hsieh subjects himself into.
To me, in my philosophy of my whole life’s work I would say that life is a life sentence. Life is passing time. Life is free thinking.
– Tehching Hsieh
So when one does their day to day routine, I wonder what it is they are trying to achieve? Is there anything to achieve? An ongoing message is that our time is our decision. In terms of a metaphorical way of speaking and our actions, we commit because we want to. We are in motion as by what our name is, by what our jobs are, by what we stand for in terms of someone else; our familes, our friends, ourselves.
This is just to give you something to think about as it has me. Black and white only exist in films and even then there are sometimes mysterious fades and lines of color. They sneak in only after we see the film develop and there is no way in erasing. Or to go back to what it used to be. I am not telling you how to live as you do not others. Even when there is a speech of command, there is no guarantee of rules. No guarantee of what bounds us if we don’t bound ourselves.
And then I see this quote from the actor Chris Evans about love and ex-lovers. “If you’re ever fortunate enough to love someone and have them love you back, it’s worth protecting that. It’s rare that someone can truly know you.” Truly knowing is rare. To be intimate with someone. To share secrets no one else knows or to have memories no one else have. It’s special. Sometimes it’s so heartbreaking and sometimes it’s so heartwarming. It’s funny and whimsical and silly to think of what we used to be as kids and what we used to think were true. We have to value these things. Value the time that was used to make these kinds of memories. Value the love you had because it was a true one.
I suppose this entry submits a little part of what I think. A mixture of ideas and reflections that aren’t easy to say in one breathe. They aren’t as straightforward or clean, but they mean something to me. They mean a lot.