held tight

I felt so overwhelmed and blanketed with my emotions.  I was blinded by them and up until now, I had not realized what that really meant.  I walked outside against the wind and against the cold.  My hoodie was all that I had, plus my keys.  After sitting for several minutes on the crunchy beach sands and flattening the sands in front of me, I left without care of my possessions and my reality.  I left walking back to find refuge in the warmth that I knew would come from the house.  I reached into my pockets and my keys disappeared.  My heart dropped and I felt a rush of despair, panic and heat.  I retraced my steps and I kept thinking what ifs and never will I’s and alas, when I stepped upon the space I had occupied a few moments ago, they weren’t there.  I felt sadness because I knew what it had meant to lose something like this.  I turned to my left and there, half-hidden underneath the dampness of the beach, I saw them.  I felt so blessed.  I felt so lucky.  I held onto them and thanked the Gods and Goddesses.  I held tight not ever wanting to let it go.  I realized at that moment that emotions are dangerous sometimes.  They can make you lose your sight and focus.  They can cause mistakes and sometimes, even if I retrace my steps, I will not find what I’m looking for.  Luckily, today, that wasn’t the case.  I suppose we all gotta learn when to let go and when to hold tight.

This was something I wrote six years ago today on November 11, 2011.

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