I felt so overwhelmed and blanketed with my emotions. I was blinded by them and up until now, I had not realized what that really meant. I walked outside against the wind and against the cold. My hoodie was all that I had, plus my keys. After sitting for several minutes on the crunchy beach sands and flattening the sands in front of me, I left without care of my possessions and my reality. I left walking back to find refuge in the warmth that I knew would come from the house. I reached into my pockets and my keys disappeared. My heart dropped and I felt a rush of despair, panic and heat. I retraced my steps and I kept thinking what ifs and never will I’s and alas, when I stepped upon the space I had occupied a few moments ago, they weren’t there. I felt sadness because I knew what it had meant to lose something like this. I turned to my left and there, half-hidden underneath the dampness of the beach, I saw them. I felt so blessed. I felt so lucky. I held onto them and thanked the Gods and Goddesses. I held tight not ever wanting to let it go. I realized at that moment that emotions are dangerous sometimes. They can make you lose your sight and focus. They can cause mistakes and sometimes, even if I retrace my steps, I will not find what I’m looking for. Luckily, today, that wasn’t the case. I suppose we all gotta learn when to let go and when to hold tight.
This was something I wrote six years ago today on November 11, 2011.