it’s coming // it’s come and gone

music: sleeping at last – saturn

I didn’t think I’d write a “wrap-up” post of 2017. I guess this isn’t really the case; it’s more like a “2018 is coming” and how I’m feeling kind of post. Um, maybe a mixture of both. I’ll get to it now..

I’m not sure how I’m feeling about 2018. I think it could go a few different ways and there are always possibilities that I don’t see coming. I think last year I was more excited. And rightly so, 2017 is/was a great year in multiple areas of my life. But 2018 is interesting.

………………………………….

I wrote the above entry in 2017. I had no idea what a hard year 2018 would be. The terrible circumstances that life threw at me were a lot last year. And I’m still recovering. Coming across this post in my drafts is odd. It’s odd to see the song I was listening to at the time. A music video that goes backwards as if I somehow knew I’d go backwards in time with this post.

Despite the rough times that have occurred last year and all the years passed, I always seem to have this small part of me deep down that knows I can get through it. Whatever happens. I am a fighter. For a long time, I did not really recognize that in myself and I don’t think I ever needed to until when I absolutely had to. I am grateful for it.

No matter what, the judgements, the insecurities, the resistance… know that the voice that remains the one to be heard is yours. Not the one that puts you down. Listen to the one that is strong enough to raise you up. Because that is the one that will save you; through and through.

“You taught me the courage of stars before you left
How light carries on endlessly, even after death
With shortness of breath, you explained the infinite
How rare and beautiful it is to even exist.”

-Sleeping At Last

 

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