honesty

honesty is the sand particles
on the beach of low tide.
they can never fully form
in the palm of my hand.
loads fall to the ground
when carried for a long time,
only a few remain loyal
like coins of spare change.

but when water is added
potential for sculptures arise
like the waves from the high tide.
clumps become castles and mountains.
admired, awed and seen with pride;
no longer is honesty an elusive lover
it has become a created structure;
the kind that is followed and believed.

I recall a question I got asked a lot as a kid, “What’s your favorite ice-cream?” And it would always be strawberry because I liked the pink color. As I got a little older, it changed because I actually accounted for the taste. I liked strawberry, but for honesty sake it wasn’t my favorite. It was vanilla & chocolate. It became cookie dough. It was mint chocolate chip. I don’t have a favorite now. As long as it has some kind of chocolate and that good vanilla taste, I’m more than satisfied.

But I think in society, a lot of people like those closed corners and checked boxes. They understand and believe in labels or titles. Or follow structures that may no longer make sense anymore but it’s what we created. It was easy for me to be brand loyal growing up because it’s easier to not think about it really. Sure, I’ll stick with that product and name because it’s reliable and I use it all the time. Then other factors became priority as my age added another year like budgeting, compromising preferences with significant others and just plain old convenience.

Although I think a lot of people are still brand loyal, I like to think that a lot of them aren’t. They are seeking truth and honesty of something beyond what is created for them. They are using other senses to detect a deeper level of understanding. It was so easy for me to admire the metaphorical beautiful sand castles, but now, I think about how are they made, what they are made from and why are they made?

I realized lately that I am on the hunt for the kind of honesty that will stick with me and keep me grounded. Honesty that can make real changes for the better. I no longer want the pretty pink color, I want that delicious taste, too. Honesty and truth feels like pure gold; feels like something I see and hear about, but never really ever get to hold in my hand.

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