writer’s block

writer’s block

Yearning for words that make sense,
My mind wanders from one thought onto another.
Loss for words and inspiration leaves me empty;
Frustrated by fragmented pieces of ideas and feelings.
Fully immersed into the craft, yet, betrayed by the process.
Until the next moment when the connections meet,
Will the creations become their identities.

I couldn’t figure out what exactly I wanted to say, so I decided to write about that.

the other perspective

the other perspective

(my dad took this photograph)

It’s interesting. I had a discussion recently with someone who questioned the decision of a person we knew. There were a lot of questions, concerns, but harsh judgements as well. It’s a blessing and a curse being in our minds without a collective thought. Anyone who watches Star Trek may, like me, think of mind melding and the collective consciousness. (I never thought I’d reference Star Trek, but there you go.) We don’t ever really know how someone’s doing, what they’re thinking and how they perceive things. Even if they tried to explain or show us, there’s no way in proving that what they see is how we see. I guess we try anyway.

It’s a blessing to have our own thoughts and identities. It’s what makes us all unique. It’s also the cause of the many paths and experiences that occur. If I go to one museum and a friend goes to the same one at another day or even the same day, their experience will be different from mine. Maybe they’ll be some things that are the same, but not exact. Their ideas and thoughts will not be the ones in my head necessarily.

However, it’s hard to really understand someone completely. This causes conflicts and divides. But maybe we don’t have to fully understand. Maybe the things that are similar are what keeps us connected. Like pain for me hurts as pain for you hurts. We can all relate in the human level. We all came from someone’s womb. We all feel things.

Not all judgements are bad. It’s how we decipher between good and bad, safety and violence, how we show care.. but, making needless, hurtful judgements on someone else’s life is sort of pointless. Is there a direct impact to your life? We all live our own lives. There’s too much difference in history and biology. What one may see as an advantage, another may see as a disadvantage. And yet there is judgement everywhere: faceless trolls on the internet, professional critics and the quiet voice in our heads. Maybe this is a defense mechanism or reflection of insecurities. Maybe it’s just out of entertainment. Maybe it’s just because it’s a habit and it’s acceptable. But maybe it doesn’t have to be any of those things.

fickle

fickle

Summer is revving up and the sun has lit up much of the land most of the day; spreading good vibes all around. I’ve been waiting for this time all year. But oddly and quite annoyingly, as I sit here typing this, I am yearning for the chilly mornings of winter hiking in which the air is so crisp and so fresh. I don’t want the cold. I don’t want the snow. But there’s just something about that kind of air. There’s a peaceful feeling about it.

drawing animated characters

drawing animated characters

I’m currently trying to practice being present. So I decided to draw a bit for a diy gift I’m giving for a birthday. It helps a whole lot in being focused and it’s therapeutic. We’ve been watching lots of Hayao Miyazaki films lately and they’re addicting. Philosophy, beautiful imagery and compelling stories is quite the combination. Admittedly, I wasn’t too fond of all the stories, but I truly admire all the work it takes to create films in this medium. If you’re not familiar with Miyazaki films, they are Japanese animation films or anime, (but according to Wikipedia, Miyazaki despises the word, so let’s stick with animation instead). I especially like My Neighbor Totoro and one blogger friend Beth suggested, The Red Turtle. Such beautiful, cute and thoughtful films. I drew some film characters below. I’m not the best at it, but I think I’ll get better with practice. I drew with pencil, pen and colored pencils.

The camera or lighting caused the pieces to look lighter than they are.

You may recognize this from the Disney film Bambi. Bambi and Thumper talking with each other.

Mei Kusakabe is a character from My Neighbor Totoro. Very sweet, curious, cute and innocent.

My take on the character Snow White.

Mulan from the Disney movie Mulan.

Totoro and friends!

Did you like any of these?

oahu, hawaii

oahu, hawaii

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This trip is special to me personally, but also in a big picture way; it opened up my eyes to a whole new way of being. It’s been so long since I’ve been on an airplane and that in itself was a journey, a good journey. Despite some scary turbulence, sleep deprivation, undesirable options for food selection, I felt that I got a lot out of it. It was fun and actually refreshing. It kept me on my toes.

It’s hard to describe every little thing I felt, experienced and saw in this beautiful part of the state, but here it goes. I’ve been posting some poems and photographs recently here on this blog:

lovely
bánh mì & fried chicken & chinatown oahu, hawaii memories
Hawaiian love
the feelings

I also made a calm film:

Below are some highlights, tips and recommendations:

Highlights:

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The beaches are so soul-fulfilling. My heart could drink up so much more of these early mornings of peace and tranquility. By the day it’ll be crowded, but that has its own energy in itself.

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Tantalus Lookout at night. As suggested by a friendly local, this was such a view in person. There were a few of us here in the darkness trying to capture the beauty we saw. It just isn’t like the photograph, it’s better.

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Can’t go wrong with the Honolulu Zoo since it’s so close to everything else. The animals living in there are so beautiful. The peacocks walk freely among the visitors.

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Hiking at Diamond Head gives amazing views. There is a lot of walking for sure. I love it. There is one semi-scary part in which you have to walk up a ton of steps and then walk into a dark tunnel. Other than that, it was extraordinary! There is a “perfect” view at each level you walk up to.

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Manoa Falls hike is, so far, my most favorite hike. The ultimate view that visitors come for is the waterfall. It isn’t the biggest, of course, but it is magical as all waterfalls are. Be aware, your shoes will get muddy!

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Their flowers and plant life in general are exquisite! I couldn’t get enough of seeing all the colors in a natural setting and especially if you live in the city, it’ll be refreshing to see more green while driving/walking.

Tips:
-Go early for hikes. The later in the day you wait, the more crowded it is to catch good views and more rushed you feel to move along as some people move at a faster pace.
-If you decide to rent a car, be careful when driving and aware of the cars ahead of you. I noticed that drivers tend to signal and make turns quickly, so be cautious.
-Time your outings because being stuck in traffic can be a bummer and some restaurants/attractions have special hours.
-Be mindful of parking and have some cash ready as some hiking/attraction areas will charge. They aren’t too expensive though.
-If you prefer a less crowded time at the beach, go in the early morning. You’ll still see some avid swimmers and surfers, but it’ll be really relaxing and quieter and the photography is amazing (but really, that’s true at any time of day.)

Food recommendations:

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Poke at Foodlands is delicious with lots of variety.
Musubi (with a choice of chicken, spam or hot dog) at Foodlands and Musubi Cafe.
-Mango shave ice at Island Vintage
-Custard or plain malasadas at Leonard’s Bakery
-Of course, the traditional foods: poi, laulau, kalua pork, and haupia. One day, I hope to try the loco moco.

Has anyone gone to this island or the others? Do you have fun stories, advice or food/hiking suggestions? I’d love to learn more.

observing

observing

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I was seated by the window of this cafe and had company with these beautiful, hidden flowers. They had the best view out on a quiet street of a busy city. Observing the every day like little cats who sit by the window. Wondering what others do when they walk by. But I am romanticizing this observation. I’m sure the flowers are in equilibrium to be near the sunshine, to gather their energy and continue forward as how they were meant to. Little petals fall as time progresses on. Little nuggets of reminders that nothing lasts. Maybe it was me who observes like cats by the window; looking and understanding how the outside world works. Maybe we all are.

love through dinner

love through dinner

The letters were scribbled on rubbish.
They left their farewell on the back of the receipt.
Oil absorbed through it creating the mark of
Unavoidable interruptions in our long conversations.

The night we decided to talk was at the pub down the street.
Water droplets and old crumbs were on our table.
We wiped them away with a napkin we found nearby.
It was still greasy, but we settled anyway.

How many hours, I wonder, did we waste?
When we tried to balance the check of this relationship.
It’s not easy to split the portion evenly, as we both remembered.
It’s moot to add, subtract, multiply and divide.

What did I provide to you, my beloved?
A deep comfort kind of feeling only I can deliver
Or just a craving you needed to satiate?

passion

passion

Passion isn’t solely represented in the final product of someone’s creation. Being passionate towards something or someone is one in which takes a lot of time, energy and patience. I don’t think it needs any other qualities than that. It can be seen in the devoted late nights of doing research on this one particular area of interest. Passion can be felt in the soreness of your muscles from the energy exerted to learn more about the chosen subject, project or idea. It requires a kind of loyalty that comes from endless times of making mistakes or re-examination or further analysis. Passion is consuming.

Passion (originally posted on September 16, 2014)

My body
Blinded by inner sensations
Cause and location are unknown.
Feeling gutted in the heart.
Feeling heavy from the start.
Feeling force in the mind.
Passion is not light.
It does not breed weakness.
Passion is a fight
For feeling what’s right.
Time is timeless
Will is all that matters.

this morning

this morning

20150703_110954I’ve become a part of the morning. Sleep doesn’t sit well with me lately because my body has gotten used to my odd sleeping hours. Before I know it, I see the light stream through the kitchen blinds. It’s quiet everywhere. It seems so innocent and peaceful and I forget for a moment that the world isn’t like this all the time. It’s not even 6am and I feel this consuming energy.

Before physically sitting up from bed and walking to the living room, I let my eyes rest and listened to the fan blow air in the humid existence that is summer. I thought about my health, my future and the delicious ramen noodles I ate last night.

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I tried the spicy one with roasted chicken this time and it was really good. After I tried his curry one, it didn’t taste the same. It’s interesting how quickly perceptions can change like that.

When I finally got up, I walked passed the fan and I immediately thought of being on an airplane. It made sounds like the ones you notice in the background when you settle in your seat and decide to try to nap to pass the time on the flight.

Seeing the light through the window is like a “We are open” sign on the doors of shops. It’s the signal to early risers who need to get ready or they’ll be late for work. The light represents a new day unlike the one from yesterday. The pigeons will scavenge for food, the buses will make frequent rounds and I will be me, like you, making things happen and living today as to how we perceive life to be at this moment in time.

Good morning to you.

 

Photos presented were from past events.

pineapple bun

pineapple bun

very delicious. one of my favorites at a Chinese bakery. Must try, for sure.

best described as crunchy sweet topping, soft dough with sweet custard filling.

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sometimes dad would get my family some of these pastries after he got off work. i remember what a special treat it was. as the tables have turned, i sometimes get my family these pastries when i get off work. i am so appreciative of these little cute connections to warm memories i live for.