nature

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It survived another month
The fragility of petals
Grasping a millimeter of stem
Rooted for some kind of stability.

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Winds tampered its solid grace.
The calm nights hushed sounds
Of crying rain and cats meows
Wanting to be heard, to express.

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The light grew outwards
Unable to contain its bravery
The audacity of survival
The power of life’s everything.

body language

bird chirps & squawks along with the morning sunrise
looking left and right for another as their ally.
a continuous hum of undefined squeaks and yells,
I am awake and I am here,” i imagine him saying.
with no fingers to text or dial phone numbers or type an email,
birds communicate through their bodies;
with their lungs and flying patterns.
is our body language as clear as theirs?

feeling home

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Years ago, I visited this no-kill cat shelter and saw this beautiful cat. S/he looked so warm and happy; weren’t scared of us or anything at all. I think they felt at home. Look at those cute paws!

It’s so automatic as a child to feel at home. Well, speaking from my perspective, it was. I was surrounded by familiarity and had little to fear or stress over. Although things are not exactly like that now, I do enjoy the freedoms I have as an adult. I have a handle of things and create things in my life that only I can make.

Having lived in a few different places by now, my feeling of home is not always the same feeling. I’ve noticed there’s always a slight difference to each place. I’ve lived in dorms, lived in the city, lived in the countryside, lived in the suburbs and lived away from my home country.

The memories I create for each space are ones I find comfort in. Now, much older, I realize there are a few signs I’ve noticed for places I truly find peace in:

  1. I have a routine I can rely and depend on
  2. I enjoy staying in and find comfort on the sofa
  3. I find myself cooking a lot in the kitchen or at least wanting to
  4. Unintentionally notice and appreciate sounds from the neighborhood—like birds chirping, buses driving by or people chatting.
  5. Feeling grateful to have the space in general
  6. Wanting the space to be calm and surrounded with warmth from either little knick-knacks, personal photographs or words to live by
  7. I have pride in the space and wanting it to evolve with me—meaning, it’s not just going to be a blank space.
  8. Sharing the space with loved ones and making memories that I always come back to
  9. Finding a go-to restaurant in the area and knowing I can depend on it for my cravings

What makes your home feel like home?

two too many

horses in fieldtwo horses

These photographs were taken during one of the best years of my life. I went on so many adventures and learned more of who I was. I felt free. And yet, it wasn’t forever. The photographs stay there and the memories come along, but the reality is still different. It’s different because time has passed. Maybe those horses aren’t there anymore. Maybe they’re somewhere warmer. I will never know.

In a moment, the memories of who I love come flooding and my heart becomes completely arrested by the thoughts and feelings of what they meant to me; what they mean to me always. It passes. These moments come and go. Sometimes they stay a little longer because I have more time to think about them, but mostly, they kind of wander in and then quickly walk out. But it hurts every single time.

Coming across these memories of adventure makes me yearn for a time like that again. It won’t be the same, but it’ll be another section of my life I can be proud of. And although I said these photographs represented a good year for me, it still had a lot of ups and downs like any other. There’s no need to exaggerate or forget the bad either.

The reality is that a true photograph of a moment isn’t going to be perfect. To me, a good photograph is one that tells me something about true life. It isn’t going to be right or wrong. It isn’t going to be staged or predictable.

It’s just a moment in time. The day this was taken, we drove on a very long road and there was green grass all around us. This place was new to us. It was clear and we saw these beautiful creatures just doing their thing. I wanted so badly to gather that essence; that attitude. I got out of the car and just took out my camera. One snap, two snap. That’s all. And even that may be two too many.

communication within nature

Slinking into the weekend after a week of bitter cold, I wanted to re-energize my mind and warm up my body by staying in a bit. By accidentally coming across two documentaries on nature, I was surprised to have been enthralled by them. Although knowing me, I guess it’s not that surprising. It was fascinating to learn the varying intricacies of communication occurring within nature. With the first documentary I watched, Koko: The Gorilla Who Talks to People, we learn that Koko the gorilla can speak through sign language. Her relationship with her “mother” and caregiver Dr. Penny Patterson is so unique. Koko cried and mourned when she learned that her friends, a kitten and a gorilla companion, passed away. She becomes full of joy and excitement when she sees and meets a gorilla boy she has a crush on. It’s crazy to see the depth of emotion and thinking she has; not because I don’t think animals are capable of it, but because she can express it to us. How many of us have thought of the idea of talking with our cats or dogs and knowing what they thought about things?

 

The second nature documentary I watched, is called “What Plants Talk About” on Nature. A few things that came up were how plants protected themselves from predators, how their roots’ growth beneath the surface is vast and all connecting and how plants of a family will delegate resources in ways to survive and combat other families in their vicinity. As often as I walk and hike in nature, I reflect of many things. Admittedly, however, I don’t think I ever really thought about the ways in how plants populate our land masses. Also, that within their growth, there is competition, there is defense mechanisms and survival tactics. And there is a unity through all of it.

These films taught me that along with the basic ideology of “we are all connected” (by biology, environment and universe), these grand subject themes are composed of the tiniest, minute connections that is often unknown by the general public. That there is so much out there that we have yet to understand. What can these living organisms tell us about how we are treating them, what they know about the functions of the world and how we can all work together, so we don’t eliminate our chances in saving this planet?

living peacefully

I wanted to make a digital scrapbook-type image.

draft one

draft two

The above reads: We drove by these creatures of the earth. We saw green grass and blue skies. The trees and grass were of abundance. No longer did our car feel like we were in a sea of others. We were the minority. We were the ones visiting. Maybe we always were. I saw these horses peacefully eating. I wish there was no barricade between us. To live in peace. To live as naturally as we were born to be. What is that life like?