I miss the big tree. It used to sit comfortably in the center of the lawn. The picture above does not look like it at all, but it’s the thought that counts, right? I think I didn’t realize how much I loved it until it got knocked down after a big storm. And then just like that, it was gone.
During the summer heat, the leaves would protect us and lower the temperature a good ten degrees or so. We’d frequently get out our chairs to sit and talk under this beloved beauty. I’ve learned to roller skate and play Double Dutch right by it. I’ve seen squirrels climb up and down and I just never imagined it’d ever go away.
I remember how I would look up at it just to see the little spaces the leaves left open and the distance was so far away. Or so it seemed.
It’s been years since it fell. But the yard still seems a bit lonely, even with the two new trees that have grown since then.
No matter how much time has passed, moments like these remind me that we are creatures of habit.
I know that a part of me will always be gone. Pieces that were once intact aren’t pieced the same anymore. And that’s okay. That’s life. With every experience we have, there’s always going to be pieces that get chipped, tweaked, broken and gone. But then somehow, we get put back together. The pieces get fit into other ways like a Tetris game that goes on forever. Yeah, they fall down and stack, but after a little bit of patience and thought, they get put into places that makes sense. That fits.
I’m sitting here on my couch with a minor headache. Staring at a computer screen all day can definitely do that. And not eating breakfast. I hear the powerful crying winds outside. Depending on one’s mood, it can sound pretty scary. But it doesn’t to me. It’s just nature doing it’s thing.
Sometimes the wind will blow through you; forcing you to one side. It’s a literal sign to just let go and go where it takes you. Or, you could go against it with all your might. There’s a chance you can’t get to the other side anyway and you’ll just be forced back to where you were. But maybe your strength can push through and you’re on the side you actually want to be on. Your choice. It always is.
It’s odd how watering some plants can give so much comfort to every day life. Especially when it’s a tough day or things seem a bit gray. I read once that farmers are the happiest people on earth because they are surrounded by nature all the time. And maybe because they are actively cultivating and nurturing something they can see grow every day. It’s not data entry, spreadsheets or nameless numbered clients. Farmers can actually pick tomatoes from their garden and make a delicious meal that day. That’s what I want someday. My own garden. Yeah, that sounds nice.
mesmerized that I was above the clouds. spectacular. an airplane flew through the layer of clouds. like a tourist bus in the city streets, a vehicle full of people traveling along from one destination to the next. it was quiet. cold and delicate.
It was a nice surprise. I had just come back from watering the other flowers when I noticed these little ones pop up after a day. I saw the bulbs a day ago and they were completely closed and then suddenly, overnight, they decided to bloom! These weren’t even planted by me. The little birds or the wind must of gathered the seeds and moved them wherever because these came at a surprise to begin with. Does anyone know what these are called? You’ll see that some mint are also peeking out as well.
I nudged my head onto your chest. You held me tightly as the cold breeze from the beach water made us wonder what season was it again? I didn’t know what to think. I wanted relief from the past few months of us continuing a pattern we never wanted to create and getting into situations we always tried to avoid, yet, they came anyway.
I surrendered that day. We held each other tightly and didn’t say anything for a long time. The coolness blushed my face and watered my eyes. I felt so raw standing in front of the open body of water that constantly moved in and out. Day in and day out. Healing after healing.
I had a whole life back at home and no idea what I wanted. I saw a family pass by with their tiny dog. A mother and a teenage daughter and son. They were a unit as they walked quietly by; each taking a turn to look out ahead on the sunset we’re all about to experience.
Designed by a sharp architect,
The buildings have a bit of angles,
Mirrors and glass intertwine
Reflections and clear glass remain
The main foci of perspective.
In the forest
Beyond the shadows of cloaked
Mountain peaks and waterfalls,
Mists of opaque steam and clouds
Blur and distort the possibilities yet
Boundaries go boundless and free.
This is my take on how I see the differences and similarities to going a path you understand and know and one that isn’t as clear and predictable. The city life is more of a man-made creation of societal standards and expectations in the realms of reputation and livelihood. The life beyond the city and more towards nature is more unpredictable and less exhibited, so the expectations are less known. Both are paths that may hold great possibility or great failure; positives and negatives. It depends on where you stand and what you value.