believe in a little magic

believe in a little magic

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The young grow up so fast. When meaning of words defined for the experienced becomes habitual validations for the youth, you know the world is changing. Morning becomes noon which becomes night all so quickly. Childhood play time become study time becomes life time. All we want isn’t all we want. The mass becomes diluted into smaller sections of varying categories; here, there, and everywhere. Romantics become cynics and roads become blocks and no one becomes every one. Nothing is original, but everything we experience is never we have ever seen. Speak to me like a human. Hold me like I’m alive. Taste with your inner soul and never let go of what makes you, you. I believe in a little magic; one that cannot be predicted by algorithms of small beating particles of interlocking patterns we all are scheduled to follow. We are our own light in the dark forest and the magic in our wands. I believe we can change the world; one act, one person, one belief at a time. I believe the magic is you.

fresh air, fresh mind

fresh air, fresh mind

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I remembered the way the ocean air tasted like,
It was like today among the giant trees in the mists.
The ocean comforted me through teenage angst and distress.
Now my mind and body draw from muscle memory,
Softening the edges as adulthood has thickened skins.
Ageless beauty getting older with each passing generation.
Hikers seeking truth among the quietness of the moment.

Thank you

Thank you

I seem to have made some loyal blogging friends. Thank you for coming to visit this site and reading what I’ve posted. I am often surprised to wake up with notifications of feedback from posts I’ve written long ago or just a day ago. Please know that I value your support and time. My heart expands with so much warmth. Writing to me has always given me comfort in some shape or form. I’m grateful that if in some way the writing resonates with you, too, somehow. I love reading blogs, as well, and I’m so happy I’ve come across some wonderful ones through blogging here. Happy blogging to you all and best wishes to you on this day and rest of the week :)

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home // feb 29, 2016

home // feb 29, 2016

(not my home, but the pink/orange/blue sky give me the nostalgic home feeling)

Last year, I wrote the post below and saved it in my drafts. I wanted to ask fellow bloggers what made their home home. Since we all come from different backgrounds, I wanted to hear what others had to say about the feeling of home and what it means to them. In addition to the words below, I’d say that each of the places I lived in and considered home were not all the same. They had their distinguished comforts and unique characteristics. Maybe I’m biased, but the childhood room seems to be the room I felt most home in. Perhaps that’ll change one day, maybe not.

If you feel inspired to, may you answer this two-part question? How do you define home and how does it make you feel?

on this special day, i wanted to celebrate by writing about something close to my heart, home. i’ve lived in many places, as many of you have, and they’ve all been ones i called home. for me, my childhood room. the room i grew up in and watched a million sunrises from my window and heard a million buses drive by. it’s the room where birds would sing to me and where the cold winter air would freeze me and i’d snuggle under my warm blankets watching late-night tv and re-runs of the best of the best. it’s the room where i dreamed the most. no longer is this room the same as it was, but the feeling of it will live on.

maybe home is an idea, maybe it is a feeling, a thing we create and something we need to feel comfort, familiarity and ease.

dear theatre

dear theatre

…And the performances hold onto me even now when the day has passed far beyond a few hundred hours. I knew then that I wanted to profess my love to the theatre because there is something rare with this art. I had my first taste of it, being on stage, when I was just 8 or 9; however, not a performer. Due to irrational shyness and lack of self-confidence, I refused the request of my teacher to dance on stage with the other girls, so instead, she asked that I handle the curtains. For such an easy job, I took it very seriously. My hands holding onto the rope tightly, waiting for the cues in the music to lift the curtain. I got to bow with her at the end and hear the applause.

Since then, I’ve had a few “acting” (if one can even call it that) and theatre experiences in career and small projects; even in dance which I never would’ve thought. It’s interesting to play a role and have someone ask if the situation I acted was real because it was believable. Fortunately, it wasn’t, but I was appreciative for the words.

On the other side, I really enjoy being the audience member more. I am an observer at heart, I think. The art of performance in theatre is so beautiful and authentic (as authentic as acting can be). For the ones that never get recorded, there isn’t another chance to see it. Even if they’re playing for months, each matinee and nightly show is different. Having worked in a theatre before, I’ve heard performers complain that they felt their performance for a specific show sucked, but for the audience members, they didn’t seem to notice because I heard them speak sweet praises as they left. For them, it is the first and last time to see that show at that time. There is no rewind button or streaming option online. They can’t watch re-runs of it. It’s live. There is a show and then it’s over.

I suspect this is why I love concerts, too. The energy and atmosphere just cannot be replicated; even in memories. The actors on stage, if they’re good, can really pull people in. They only have one chance. Messing up means we all see it without the option to edit themselves later. With the help of sound, lighting and props, I am so impressed with how well the story can be conveyed and how the simplest movement or silence can mean so much. A shadow on the wall can signify a window. A table can become a bed or a bench at the park. All these mechanics take part in creating this imaginary, yet real space. There is also an odd dynamic with seeing a performance live because it teaches the audience to practice structured empathy and compassion because there is someone literally in front of us showing emotion, but there is also a boundary. We cannot be fully involved. If there is laughter, sure, we can laugh with them. But if there are tears of sadness, we cannot console them or tell them it’ll be okay. So being an audience member means we can sometimes participate and sometimes we cannot. However, we all share this specific space and time.

The art of live performances and all that comes with it is kind of old-fashioned if you think about it. Living in the digital age, it makes this kind of entertainment and medium even more valuable to me.

Maybe I’ve romanticized this, but in thinking of the life of the performer/surgeon/teacher/artist and the work they put in means it is an art of passion. I admire those who really put a lot into their craft and skill because I know a lot of the time it is internal. There are so many important moments of practice, diligence and care that no one sees. With the final lesson, product or art piece, there is a sense of love and belonging, too; even if it’s something with one person, someone somewhere will appreciate it. And they will share it. They will remember how it felt. Ironically, the art of passion is beautiful because it cannot be saved or physically held or fully seen. But it can be felt. Like how my mom used to scold me when I pulled beautiful flowers off of trees or bushes, she’d say that I should leave it because it is beautiful as is. Taking it would destroy the beauty. So having only one chance or opportunity to experience something is really powerful and meaningful in itself.

“All the world’s a stage, and all the men and women merely players: they have their exits and their entrances” – William Shakespeare
the other perspective

the other perspective

(my dad took this photograph)

It’s interesting. I had a discussion recently with someone who questioned the decision of a person we knew. There were a lot of questions, concerns, but harsh judgements as well. It’s a blessing and a curse being in our minds without a collective thought. Anyone who watches Star Trek may, like me, think of mind melding and the collective consciousness. (I never thought I’d reference Star Trek, but there you go.) We don’t ever really know how someone’s doing, what they’re thinking and how they perceive things. Even if they tried to explain or show us, there’s no way in proving that what they see is how we see. I guess we try anyway.

It’s a blessing to have our own thoughts and identities. It’s what makes us all unique. It’s also the cause of the many paths and experiences that occur. If I go to one museum and a friend goes to the same one at another day or even the same day, their experience will be different from mine. Maybe they’ll be some things that are the same, but not exact. Their ideas and thoughts will not be the ones in my head necessarily.

However, it’s hard to really understand someone completely. This causes conflicts and divides. But maybe we don’t have to fully understand. Maybe the things that are similar are what keeps us connected. Like pain for me hurts as pain for you hurts. We can all relate in the human level. We all came from someone’s womb. We all feel things.

Not all judgements are bad. It’s how we decipher between good and bad, safety and violence, how we show care.. but, making needless, hurtful judgements on someone else’s life is sort of pointless. Is there a direct impact to your life? We all live our own lives. There’s too much difference in history and biology. What one may see as an advantage, another may see as a disadvantage. And yet there is judgement everywhere: faceless trolls on the internet, professional critics and the quiet voice in our heads. Maybe this is a defense mechanism or reflection of insecurities. Maybe it’s just out of entertainment. Maybe it’s just because it’s a habit and it’s acceptable. But maybe it doesn’t have to be any of those things.

fickle

fickle

Summer is revving up and the sun has lit up much of the land most of the day; spreading good vibes all around. I’ve been waiting for this time all year. But oddly and quite annoyingly, as I sit here typing this, I am yearning for the chilly mornings of winter hiking in which the air is so crisp and so fresh. I don’t want the cold. I don’t want the snow. But there’s just something about that kind of air. There’s a peaceful feeling about it.

drawing animated characters

drawing animated characters

I’m currently trying to practice being present. So I decided to draw a bit for a diy gift I’m giving for a birthday. It helps a whole lot in being focused and it’s therapeutic. We’ve been watching lots of Hayao Miyazaki films lately and they’re addicting. Philosophy, beautiful imagery and compelling stories is quite the combination. Admittedly, I wasn’t too fond of all the stories, but I truly admire all the work it takes to create films in this medium. If you’re not familiar with Miyazaki films, they are Japanese animation films or anime, (but according to Wikipedia, Miyazaki despises the word, so let’s stick with animation instead). I especially like My Neighbor Totoro and one blogger friend Beth suggested, The Red Turtle. Such beautiful, cute and thoughtful films. I drew some film characters below. I’m not the best at it, but I think I’ll get better with practice. I drew with pencil, pen and colored pencils.

The camera or lighting caused the pieces to look lighter than they are.

You may recognize this from the Disney film Bambi. Bambi and Thumper talking with each other.

Mei Kusakabe is a character from My Neighbor Totoro. Very sweet, curious, cute and innocent.

My take on the character Snow White.

Mulan from the Disney movie Mulan.

Totoro and friends!

Did you like any of these?

oahu, hawaii

oahu, hawaii

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This trip is special to me personally, but also in a big picture way; it opened up my eyes to a whole new way of being. It’s been so long since I’ve been on an airplane and that in itself was a journey, a good journey. Despite some scary turbulence, sleep deprivation, undesirable options for food selection, I felt that I got a lot out of it. It was fun and actually refreshing. It kept me on my toes.

It’s hard to describe every little thing I felt, experienced and saw in this beautiful part of the state, but here it goes. I’ve been posting some poems and photographs recently here on this blog:

lovely
bánh mì & fried chicken & chinatown oahu, hawaii memories
Hawaiian love
the feelings

I also made a calm film:

Below are some highlights, tips and recommendations:

Highlights:

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The beaches are so soul-fulfilling. My heart could drink up so much more of these early mornings of peace and tranquility. By the day it’ll be crowded, but that has its own energy in itself.

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Tantalus Lookout at night. As suggested by a friendly local, this was such a view in person. There were a few of us here in the darkness trying to capture the beauty we saw. It just isn’t like the photograph, it’s better.

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Can’t go wrong with the Honolulu Zoo since it’s so close to everything else. The animals living in there are so beautiful. The peacocks walk freely among the visitors.

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Hiking at Diamond Head gives amazing views. There is a lot of walking for sure. I love it. There is one semi-scary part in which you have to walk up a ton of steps and then walk into a dark tunnel. Other than that, it was extraordinary! There is a “perfect” view at each level you walk up to.

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Manoa Falls hike is, so far, my most favorite hike. The ultimate view that visitors come for is the waterfall. It isn’t the biggest, of course, but it is magical as all waterfalls are. Be aware, your shoes will get muddy!

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Their flowers and plant life in general are exquisite! I couldn’t get enough of seeing all the colors in a natural setting and especially if you live in the city, it’ll be refreshing to see more green while driving/walking.

Tips:
-Go early for hikes. The later in the day you wait, the more crowded it is to catch good views and more rushed you feel to move along as some people move at a faster pace.
-If you decide to rent a car, be careful when driving and aware of the cars ahead of you. I noticed that drivers tend to signal and make turns quickly, so be cautious.
-Time your outings because being stuck in traffic can be a bummer and some restaurants/attractions have special hours.
-Be mindful of parking and have some cash ready as some hiking/attraction areas will charge. They aren’t too expensive though.
-If you prefer a less crowded time at the beach, go in the early morning. You’ll still see some avid swimmers and surfers, but it’ll be really relaxing and quieter and the photography is amazing (but really, that’s true at any time of day.)

Food recommendations:

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Poke at Foodlands is delicious with lots of variety.
Musubi (with a choice of chicken, spam or hot dog) at Foodlands and Musubi Cafe.
-Mango shave ice at Island Vintage
-Custard or plain malasadas at Leonard’s Bakery
-Of course, the traditional foods: poi, laulau, kalua pork, and haupia. One day, I hope to try the loco moco.

Has anyone gone to this island or the others? Do you have fun stories, advice or food/hiking suggestions? I’d love to learn more.

observing

observing

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I was seated by the window of this cafe and had company with these beautiful, hidden flowers. They had the best view out on a quiet street of a busy city. Observing the every day like little cats who sit by the window. Wondering what others do when they walk by. But I am romanticizing this observation. I’m sure the flowers are in equilibrium to be near the sunshine, to gather their energy and continue forward as how they were meant to. Little petals fall as time progresses on. Little nuggets of reminders that nothing lasts. Maybe it was me who observes like cats by the window; looking and understanding how the outside world works. Maybe we all are.

this morning

this morning

20150703_110954I’ve become a part of the morning. Sleep doesn’t sit well with me lately because my body has gotten used to my odd sleeping hours. Before I know it, I see the light stream through the kitchen blinds. It’s quiet everywhere. It seems so innocent and peaceful and I forget for a moment that the world isn’t like this all the time. It’s not even 6am and I feel this consuming energy.

Before physically sitting up from bed and walking to the living room, I let my eyes rest and listened to the fan blow air in the humid existence that is summer. I thought about my health, my future and the delicious ramen noodles I ate last night.

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I tried the spicy one with roasted chicken this time and it was really good. After I tried his curry one, it didn’t taste the same. It’s interesting how quickly perceptions can change like that.

When I finally got up, I walked passed the fan and I immediately thought of being on an airplane. It made sounds like the ones you notice in the background when you settle in your seat and decide to try to nap to pass the time on the flight.

Seeing the light through the window is like a “We are open” sign on the doors of shops. It’s the signal to early risers who need to get ready or they’ll be late for work. The light represents a new day unlike the one from yesterday. The pigeons will scavenge for food, the buses will make frequent rounds and I will be me, like you, making things happen and living today as to how we perceive life to be at this moment in time.

Good morning to you.

 

Photos presented were from past events.

pineapple bun

pineapple bun

very delicious. one of my favorites at a Chinese bakery. Must try, for sure.

best described as crunchy sweet topping, soft dough with sweet custard filling.

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sometimes dad would get my family some of these pastries after he got off work. i remember what a special treat it was. as the tables have turned, i sometimes get my family these pastries when i get off work. i am so appreciative of these little cute connections to warm memories i live for.