behind your brown eyes

behind your brown eyes

Each night you would cover yourself up,
Under the covers and roll to your side.
The darkness cradled you into your dreams.
Singing you lullabies you subconsciously heard.
You waved goodbye to the teddy bear with one eye
And the stillness of the night that signaled reality.

What grows beneath the rocks and tree roots,
Of the dark brown eyes you hide behind?
I want to know, for once, for always.
To grasp onto something genuine inside you,
Cuts form onto my hands from your jagged soul.

But I know that’s not the only thing there.
I saw your happiness sparkle in you that day.
You held onto it and examined it longer then.
Deciding whether it was reliable, you tested it.
Too far gone you went and it broke you.
Like you always thought it would.

I am sure, though, that you are wrong.
Happiness isn’t static like the rocks you store away,
Filling up the spaces until there isn’t any left.
It transcends everything and moves in and out.
Spreading light for every single one of us,
As we wake from the darkness that deceives us.

mother goddess

mother goddess

She created this garden with us in mind,
Enriching the soil with nutrients.
Sowing the seeds of our nourishment,
Spreading it all across the open land.
Creatures with beautiful chirps and peeps,
Found a home on the tops of tree branches.
The sky full of vibrant colors for us to absorb.
Day and night, early morning, late afternoon,
This mother goddess tends to our needs.
As greedy children with an appetite we spoil.
We take and take without any thanks giving at all.
Until today, Earth Day, to remember her.
For without her, we are nothing. We are not safe & healthy.
We must follow her lead and give as she has.
Let our home grow with nutrients and nourishment again.

happy earth day.

trust

trust

I’ve been having some issues with WP and seeing my reader or doing anything for that matter. I hope the little kinks work themselves out. I somehow navigated around the whole thing, although, still unable to read other blogs. Felt inspired to write for a couple of days, but then when I log in here, I have issues. So I refuse to leave without posting something.

belief in anything involves trust. it involves vulnerability. belief has a mixture of fact, a mixture of hope and a mixture of spirit. sometimes trust comes so easily because of something silly like appearance or superficial values. it’ll be given when there’s enough time for bonding and involvement and love shared among individuals. trust is natural. trust is a kind of truth we rely on, so we know we’re not alone. it allows us to have faith in something other than ourselves or more than ourselves. but we never know for certain if we’re right. but that’s okay. because it’s happening all the time. the time is now. the location is here. trust, along with many other entities, is what makes us human. can you see it? no, not really. can you draw it? no, not really, maybe a symbol of it. but you can feel it. below are a few photographs i’ve gathered that will probably make you stop and look at it. think about it. making you have thoughts and reflections that you can’t see, but you can feel. can you trust how you feel?

trust (a poem I originally published in 2013)

at the end of our days
and we all will have
there will be many moments of clarity.

what will you trust then?
if only you have this time to live?

the things you misunderstood
will be nothing.
the memories you make
will be something.
the name you have
will be the only thing

there is much distrust in our world today
which breeds such
unpleasant and unproductive qualities of man.

trust that there are those
who will love you forever
for nothing more than love itself.

trust that there are strangers
who will do more than
those who know you sometimes

trust that there will be
a light in you to guide you
to wherever you need to go

the worst mistrust of all
is the one with yourself.
so trust

trust will open
anything you want

trust creates strength and stability
in anything you want to create.

these are some of the things i’m learning
there are some of the things i’d like you to learn
I trust you understand my messages.

i miss you so much

i miss you so much

img_6147Lately, I find myself,
Thinking of you.
The thoughts bring
Indescribable feelings.
Sadness, permanence.
Close to three years,
Can’t believe you’re still gone.
Can’t believe it’s been so long.
We weren’t close like before
In the earlier days,
But you represent(ed)
Much in my life.
You were present,
For most of my life.
Never in the forefront,
But always attached.
Goes to show quality
Over quantity
Always wins.
That moments last long
Beyond any biological,
Physical presence,
Beyond the skies.

rest in peace a.q.

a little bit of everything

a little bit of everything

img_6411

life trickles down pebbles
fallen from the hard places
we break ourselves out of.

a little bit of everything,
scatters the ground,
unevenly fitting into place.

these pebbles,

creating roads to journeys,
building homes we live in.
pieces of our own identities.

these pebbles,

i never know what to think,
what i’ll see or who i’ll meet.
but the destination is only half

of what we were meant to experience.

 

i’ve been sort of scattered lately, but not really messy though. scattered in a more organized way. needed to get some creative juices out there to really get into writing something solid and important. i wish my blog had more variety like it used to. i have ideas, but little time to produce how i want to. i’ve been feeling all sorts of inspiration to do art, to go on hikes, to travel, to be careful and to be carefree. a little bit of everything is creeping into the little spaces of time i have and it’s wonderful and stressful. i know it’s all a part of this amazing journey. i know it’s something i want to remember. because it is so good, so life-altering, so life.

i am here

i am here

something is wrong,
i see your deeply felt eyes
and we speak soulfully.
you look away and i hear
your sadness, tears fall.
my heart outlines itself,
i can feel it so strongly.
the lines tighten up
and it breaks for you.

how do you console,
comfort and relieve,
when a life is gone?
what words to say
when none at all…
comes to mind?
taken and given,
breathes we make our own.
alone, solely,
do we reason at all?

i love you.
i care.
i am here.
i want to be.
everything will be okay.

honestly honest

honestly honest

Asset0010
Like a gentle mother, you hold their hands.
The baby insecurities you used to store away.
Wandering in dark corners of sequestered forests.
But honestly, honest, who isn’t broken?
We were once young, under the sun,
Cradled from the innocence of our time.
But that is not real, that is not forever.
Beauty of humanity is we are so fragile.
From only a year on earth to 100 of them,
We are who we are.
Thank you for being honest.
To me, you were a perfect, empty statue,
Until you broke it all down
Out of the hollowness
Into a vision that is so unique,
so original, so complex,
So full of your beauty.
Each moment is new
Nothing is perfect
Nothing is the same.

 

 

the melody

the melody

For the first time, I heard your words.
The other day, when I came upon your song.
They were simple, yet deeply thoughtful.
I didn’t care really, the first time.
It wasn’t something I’m used to.
To go back to. To relate with.
But I awoke one morning with you in my head.
The words came in so easily as if they were mine.
And I played it once again. And again.
To feel the ease of your feelings in ten poetic lines.
The music you composed follows along nicely
Like a dance partner you trust and align with.
The song and dance continues in my mind,
Inspiring me towards a greater existence
I know and believe in.

a sea of love

a sea of love

IMG_1721To love someone
To see someone
Is to accept them.

Red hearts, scarves and coats,
Shoes walking on this road.
A symbol for unity and understanding.

I am proud to be a woman.
I walk with you.
My heart is so full of red.

In my veins, in my soul.
Pops of red show themselves today.
Humanity was born from us.

Mother nature is a mother.
A sea of love
When we are one together.

emotional integrity

emotional integrity

Photographed in a red sweater,
Small and cute, feelings weren’t identifiable.
Older I got, feelings became inescapable.
Teenage angst and hormonal frustrations,
Uprooted from innocence into paths of confusion.
In the grasps of adulthood, entangled in-between.
Hearts no longer seen and tears tucked at the seams.
Hidden behind professionalism and personal,
Wondering, what does life truly mean?
Growing into womanhood and sisterhood,
Being human, being kind, & being alive.
Feeling it all the time and no longer holding it in.
Checking in my emotional integrity
Because it’s the only thing I need in this life.

I came upon the title, “emotional integrity” randomly in my head and I thought about how much of a transition it’s been for me to realize and actualize my feelings and reflections throughout the years as a child to now as an adult. I then searched the term online and it is indeed a term. How fitting the true definition is to what I was trying to convey.

farewell feb

farewell feb

another 28 days go by
so quickly time flies.
a strike to 12:00am
means a whole new day
one in which we launch forward
leaving behind all the others behind.
farewell february where were you hiding?
you’re such a tease, come and go as you please.
and once i get used to seeing you, you disappear.
so march onward i go, to another four weeks.
what will appear and what will i see?
i guess it will be answered
when we start month three.

money & ego

money & ego

There is this strong odor we carry.
We reek of this chemical reaction
Of human competition & validation.
Seeking alternatives to internal
Self-sustaining authentication;
We wear protective armor instead.
Built to survive and withstand
Human qualities like love, ethics & kindness,
Money & Ego tangles us into
Threads and threads of armpits.
Smells we can’t rid ourselves of
Because sweat from hard work & sacrifice
For a thinly surface veil only covers so little.
Because money & ego can only go so far
If we let it be the only things we go for.