i am here

i am here

something is wrong,
i see your deeply felt eyes
and we speak soulfully.
you look away and i hear
your sadness, tears fall.
my heart outlines itself,
i can feel it so strongly.
the lines tighten up
and it breaks for you.

how do you console,
comfort and relieve,
when a life is gone?
what words to say
when none at all…
comes to mind?
taken and given,
breathes we make our own.
alone, solely,
do we reason at all?

i love you.
i care.
i am here.
i want to be.
everything will be okay.

honestly honest

honestly honest

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Like a gentle mother, you hold their hands.
The baby insecurities you used to store away.
Wandering in dark corners of sequestered forests.
But honestly, honest, who isn’t broken?
We were once young, under the sun,
Cradled from the innocence of our time.
But that is not real, that is not forever.
Beauty of humanity is we are so fragile.
From only a year on earth to 100 of them,
We are who we are.
Thank you for being honest.
To me, you were a perfect, empty statue,
Until you broke it all down
Out of the hollowness
Into a vision that is so unique,
so original, so complex,
So full of your beauty.
Each moment is new
Nothing is perfect
Nothing is the same.

 

 

the melody

the melody

For the first time, I heard your words.
The other day, when I came upon your song.
They were simple, yet deeply thoughtful.
I didn’t care really, the first time.
It wasn’t something I’m used to.
To go back to. To relate with.
But I awoke one morning with you in my head.
The words came in so easily as if they were mine.
And I played it once again. And again.
To feel the ease of your feelings in ten poetic lines.
The music you composed follows along nicely
Like a dance partner you trust and align with.
The song and dance continues in my mind,
Inspiring me towards a greater existence
I know and believe in.

a sea of love

a sea of love

IMG_1721To love someone
To see someone
Is to accept them.

Red hearts, scarves and coats,
Shoes walking on this road.
A symbol for unity and understanding.

I am proud to be a woman.
I walk with you.
My heart is so full of red.

In my veins, in my soul.
Pops of red show themselves today.
Humanity was born from us.

Mother nature is a mother.
A sea of love
When we are one together.

emotional integrity

emotional integrity

Photographed in a red sweater,
Small and cute, feelings weren’t identifiable.
Older I got, feelings became inescapable.
Teenage angst and hormonal frustrations,
Uprooted from innocence into paths of confusion.
In the grasps of adulthood, entangled in-between.
Hearts no longer seen and tears tucked at the seams.
Hidden behind professionalism and personal,
Wondering, what does life truly mean?
Growing into womanhood and sisterhood,
Being human, being kind, & being alive.
Feeling it all the time and no longer holding it in.
Checking in my emotional integrity
Because it’s the only thing I need in this life.

I came upon the title, “emotional integrity” randomly in my head and I thought about how much of a transition it’s been for me to realize and actualize my feelings and reflections throughout the years as a child to now as an adult. I then searched the term online and it is indeed a term. How fitting the true definition is to what I was trying to convey.

farewell feb

farewell feb

another 28 days go by
so quickly time flies.
a strike to 12:00am
means a whole new day
one in which we launch forward
leaving behind all the others behind.
farewell february where were you hiding?
you’re such a tease, come and go as you please.
and once i get used to seeing you, you disappear.
so march onward i go, to another four weeks.
what will appear and what will i see?
i guess it will be answered
when we start month three.

money & ego

money & ego

There is this strong odor we carry.
We reek of this chemical reaction
Of human competition & validation.
Seeking alternatives to internal
Self-sustaining authentication;
We wear protective armor instead.
Built to survive and withstand
Human qualities like love, ethics & kindness,
Money & Ego tangles us into
Threads and threads of armpits.
Smells we can’t rid ourselves of
Because sweat from hard work & sacrifice
For a thinly surface veil only covers so little.
Because money & ego can only go so far
If we let it be the only things we go for.

grown up and stepped up

grown up and stepped up

spoon feed me nothing no more,
I’m not caught on some net,
unsure of how to de-tangle my feet
from standing upwards and straight.
this isn’t the highway in the middle
of who-knows-where land
or dive bars flooded with strangers
with smiling faces & mysterious intentions.
grown-up and stepped up onto the ladder
that gives me a hand as I climb
over the wall to see the waterfalls.
here I’ll rest and search a bit
for food and shelter and warmth.
as I follow along the road not traveled.
because i can’t eat without my voice.
because i can’t stay without my heart.
because i can trust in what I don’t know.

rejoice.

rejoice.

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how easy it is to be happy,
if we think to. decide to.
john cusack said it right,
“why can’t you be in a good mood?
how hard is it to decide to be in a good mood
and be in a good mood once in a while?”
– Lloyd Dobler (in the film Say Anything)

this simple quote moved me.
i think of it sometimes out of the blue.
when i’m thinking of something else
doing something else and then i see john
talking with his sister and i hear this,
“how hard is it to decide?”

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how many beautiful views we have seen?
of how many suns we have felt on our skin?
to touch all the textures of food, fabric, & flowers.
smelling rain, cafes, clean clothes and mom’s home cooking.
singing to feel all our insides because we know the words are true.
and swinging on the swings like the first time as a kid.
to be carefree because it’s okay to stop worrying some time.
smile and smile and smile and smile and smile
laugh so hard tears come out and your heart can’t take it
and you’re out of breathe because it is so funny.
or the feeling of calm in the morning on a weekend
& drink the warm tea & hot chocolate & indulge just because.
to speak with friends and family and know you’re not alone
or to be alone knowing¬† who you are & where you’ve been.

rejoice, because it’s a good time to do so.
it always is.

Happy Chinese New Year friends!

like vanilla and strawberry ice-cream

like vanilla and strawberry ice-cream

an epiphany appears suddenly,
so naturally it melts itself onto my skin,
inside my veins, pumping through my organs.
naturally, like laughing without thought
or closing my eyes when I am tired.
excitement and happiness swirls together
like vanilla and strawberry ice-cream on a cone.
they coalesce into one delicious treat
as the sun shines on them as if nothing has changed.
but everything has and the world feels more complete.

 

 

i am nice

i am nice

i-am-nice
inspired by Crumpled Paper Cranes’ Five Hundred Cats project
*this sweet cat got adopted, so it was bittersweet, I’m sure s/he’s loved wherever s/he is.

a friend & protector,
her/his motto:
do not trespass without ask.
cute also comes with claws.
my favorite of all the others.
their sweetness filled the room,
quickly, s/he found a new home.

I.
When I move,
You see my true self.
I follow you with love,
Love to chase mice for you.
My friends say I am nice.

II.
New friends, I’m happy to meet.
Smells of enticing food, I must eat.
I will rub them to show they are mine.
Hey, what’s that over by the window?

III.
Other cats, they pay no mind.
Boring they are. Sleep through time.
Adventures, here I come!