don’t go

There's this sense of protection we get when someone validates what we do and  how we act. It's this shield of armor from outsiders that make claims against our own values and existence. It's human desire to be accepted and wanted. We all make decisions on how we use our time and when others value [...]

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change in perspective

I woke up early. Not by choice, but because my body's been conditioned to. It knows there's always a task waiting for me. Long before my eyes can close for rest, there are unfinished projects scattered over the floor. A depiction of my life. Like feng shui does for the mind. I drove over to [...]

i’m ready

my heart carved out a piece of itself. it disappeared into an abyss unseen, unheard until this very moment. it started to crack out of its own shell. a hard hat of protection from raining bullets and grenades ready to explode. the hollowness soul began to yearn the kind of light it had for so [...]

feeling home

Years ago, I visited this no-kill cat shelter and saw this beautiful cat. S/he looked so warm and happy; weren't scared of us or anything at all. I think they felt at home. Look at those cute paws! It's so automatic as a child to feel at home. Well, speaking from my perspective, it was. [...]

cycling patterns

the space in my heart replicates our home emptiness without notice swung onto restless cycles of sleepless half awake, half dreaming. wandering continuously in endless circles. like swinging swings of metronomes back and forth, back and my heart in the space.  

healing

Heal. Let yourself take a break. Sometimes our wounds are much larger than we let ourselves recognize. Sometimes we are too hard on our emotions and keep them in. Let them go. Let yourself feel any thing you need to feel. Sadness, love, happiness, joy, jealously, panic. Let them go. Let them be free and [...]

admiration for El Capitan, Alex Honnold and Free Solo

The above photograph is of El Capitan or "El Cap" as I've heard it endearingly called. Seeing this in person is phenomenal. I could stare at it for hours. Here it is again on the left at a different angle. And here, again. Now imagine someone climbing this. Imagine a lot of people. I became [...]

what’s next?

youthful angst lots of time we lie outside wondering, what's next? the minute hand swung into hours hours to years wondering, what's next? night wanderings laughter into silence sentimental nostalgia wondering, what's next? years become eras technology zooms humanity robots wondering, what's next?

on repeat

Right now, I've played the same song for about three times now. It's the middle of the night and I'm feeling here. For a long time, I haven't felt present. There's always been multiple thoughts residing on one space in my mind. I want to be aware of this presentness and to appreciate it. Knowing [...]

firsts

The first time you do anything at all, you're not going to feel fully confident. At the same time, there is always a little bit of excitement or anxiety. It's the beauty of it. Another beautiful thing that comes along is that bravery you find in yourself. There's something really sweet, innocent and nostalgic when [...]

making our mark

reaching to this point was half the battle. the other was seeing, feeling all the creases, rough patches of climbs up the mountain. having regrets etched away on rock formations of history made presently. we made it to the top. we made our mark.

the energy is you

I just awoke from a nap after having been left without electricity earlier tonight. I think my mind really needed that reset. I've noticed that life can come at me with so many demanding responsibilities, my health and wellness falls off the priority list. So, when this unexpected and somewhat annoying circumstance comes along, I [...]