temporary relationship roadblocks

temporary relationship roadblocks

Silver thimbles hung on twiddle thumbs
On guitar strings strumming goodbye songs.
Uncover the lost messages in this puzzle game
As I spew out metaphors of this heartfelt strain.
Wrap me over your shoulders as I hang on tight,
Like a baby girl sleeping in soft blankets delight.
Nourish my wounded ego with salted teardrops
Avoid crossing the lines and running red light stops.
We have to make it. We gotta get there.
But how does that saying go, “life’s not fair?”

 

inspired by singer-songwriter mitski’s song first love/late spring.

sigur rós // concert photographs

sigur rós // concert photographs

i could hear the sporadic cheers start from the front row and soon we all gathered to see them on stage. the night wasn’t clear and we could see the clouds pile on. it was risky business but none of us cared. rain is water and water is in all of us. i will say i wish they played more of the songs i liked, but who doesn’t? however, i am soooo grateful to see them. i don’t think they come by very often and to see them live was always something i’ve wanted to do. i feel so fortunate. they poured their hearts and energy into the time they gave us. i never knew this, and maybe this is a new development, but i am a drum fan. never thought about it, but with live concerts, i really can’t escape the pumped up feeling. music don’t care who you are. it was the lights, it was the voice, it was the complete existence of being there at that moment as the rain started falling right on my head. i was so ecstatic. i immediately felt like we were all being showered with the most peaceful kind of awareness. nothing mattered, but being there. being present.

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a night of silent fire

a night of silent fire

smashed wooden pieces lay outside by the garden of roses.

a fire pit sat beside five small stone benches in circle fashion.

light burns slow and wispy, simmering away the day’s humidity.

as roasted marshmallows and melted chocolate squeeze in cookies crumbs

smell of sweet, smoky, tender somethings seep into our dazed memories.

coolness sweeps in fresh air as we exhale regrets and bitter tragedies.

each take a moment to look afar as tops of trees shade the midnight moon.

tone: resurrection, hopeful, camaraderie, contradiction, beauty hidden

bánh mì & fried chicken & chinatown oahu, hawaii memories

bánh mì & fried chicken & chinatown oahu, hawaii memories

music: m83 – un nouveau soleil

currently feeling a bit uninspired, but i miss writing here so much. if you’re in this mood, i think listening to good music and seeing delicious food photographs can somehow fix this. i’m not positive, but it’s kinda working for me a little (hey, i’m here, right?) looking through my hawaii photographs, i remember this tasty bánh mì i had at this restaurant called the pig & the lady. i don’t know where the name came from, but it sticks with you, right? when we decided to eat here, we knew we had to cater to the hours it was open. after circling the streets of chinatown a couple of times….

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the chinatown isn’t as large/complex as others i’ve been to. to be fair though, i didn’t explore it as much as i had wanted to, so maybe there were things i should’ve made a point to see.

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a farmer’s market of sorts, i assume. open markets welcoming people on this semi-sunny day. it was humid.

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we found a spot and walked on by. check out the cute little things at the waiting bar area. whimsical and cute.

some of the most delicious food i’ve ever eaten… no exaggeration.

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Laotian fried chicken

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obligatory shot – bánh mì and pho

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just in case you wanted to see it in this angle. we dipped the sandwich in the soup and it was phenomenal. messy, but who cares?

some walking around the area and into markets. it reminded me of walking through the markets of taiwan a little. taiwan has much more and a lot more people, but the raw, honesty vibe of what selling and buying is was there.

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for some reason, we noticed more than a couple of police cars around. i hope everything was okay.

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can’t say how excited we were to see a cat. it was so cute. the first and only cat i saw in oahu hawaii.

swept away

swept away

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gather the spaces in the sky
between the clouds
as they sweep by

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use the space to create time
lingering on like oil and water
separating themselves in glass.

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as you watch out the window,
the sunrise doesn’t wait for you
because time isn’t on your side.

post inspired by this song

And I was so young
When I behaved
Twenty five
Yet now I find
I’ve grown into
A tall child
And I don’t wanna go home yet
Let me walk to the top of the big night sky

by mitski, first love/late spring

reality shocks

reality shocks

stunned like an electric shock
through fingers on the plug;
reality hit me and surged energy
into every singular cellular nerve.

the brain reprograms and reboots,
messages on repeat turn into cuts
on records and unwound tape in cassettes.

past, present, future all at once,
limited time offer to choose one, not all.
what is the cost, loss and prevention
of this new, old, potential life?

explorers.

explorers.

They searched for clarity,
From square windows in the sky.
Tipping a glass jar of pennies
Scoring enough to pay the fare.
Seeing rain drops fall upon elephant leaves
Collecting puddles on the floor
As newborn kittens happily drink.
Flowers bloom and birds chirp songs,
Explorers seek their hearts in the tree house
With a bamboo bed and door of beads
As it swings and clicks
Whenever anything crosses by.

mango fried rice

mango fried rice

The heat is certainly rising nowadays and my first thoughts are usually something foodish like smoothies or mangoes, pineapples, oranges, these kinds of things. I’ve never cooked with mango before and was intrigued because one of my favorite dishes I order at Thai restaurants is mango fried rice. There’s something so irresistible about the sweetness of the fruit and the saltiness from everything else. The one I made definitely doesn’t taste like the one I order, BUT, it was still good, I think. As I was cutting up the mango, green onions and tomato, I loved the colors that came of it.

And then I kept adding more ingredients, like scrambled eggs and frozen carrots, peas, chickpeas, onions. Put in some dashes of seasonings, and sauces like soy sauce and hoisin sauce.

This experience made me less afraid to cook with more mangos and try other recipes :) Let me know if you want me to write how I made this.

the seasons

the seasons

The winter breaks records,
Spinning on old playful songs,
As we huddle by the fire for comfort.

The spring unveils beauty in motion,
Through tiny snapshots of the inevitable,
Sun, flowers, rain showering the foundation.

The summer heat rises the atmosphere,
Waves of ocean breeze tingles on swimmer’s skin
Slowly enjoying wanderlust as time jumps forward.

The fall sweeps in as we devour pumpkin pies,
Green leaves changes to orange-y, yellow, red
Warmth in color, releasing quickly, as the cold settles in.

chasing the sun for you

chasing the sun for you

Last night, I had my camera at the right time. The sun was setting and I couldn’t resist just taking every single photograph. Once I saw what I caught, my heart just wanted to share it. I chased the sun for you. The world is way more beautiful than you ever think. Just pause a bit and see it beyond your everyday eyes and you’ll see something so different, so natural.

The clouds and the way they intermingle with the mixture of colors from the sky get me. I love how artistic nature is without even trying.

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Chasing the sun for you,
Means you don’t have to
Go on alone.

summer child

summer child

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this is for love (my mom is the best gardener I know)

Black sweaty fine hair fall upon your baby face,
As double dutch jump ropes and kickball
Games & laughter & silliness fill up hot summers.
Television hums and antennas tangle reception,
Afternoon naps as Mama beckons us to pink flowers,
Watering each dry soil patch making mud cakes
Picking ripe red cherry tomatoes off the stems
As time goes on without a peep or alarm,
Setting suns signal dinners on the stove,
Showering off the smell of nature’s fragrance
Dreaming dreams without any definition,
Just a feeling and knowing, it’ll be okay.

gratitude from the moon and back

travel

travel

There is something so sacred about traveling. Whether I go with people and especially on my own, I can always find this space and time in which I get so immersed in the beauty of being in transit. Being moved physically to another place opens all these new perspectives in my mind. Sometimes I can just feel how “right” and true everything is for me. Waiting at the airport, sitting in the airplane, watching the sunset gives me this necessary reminder to be one with myself. Practicing patience, calming nerves and focused observation teaches me so much about what it means to be human. We are all in this together. In transit, waiting, loving, working, and being; we are all in this together.

Traveling somehow breaks the boundaries of what normal is. People talk more with each other and they are more kind; they can be vulnerable because we are in a lot of ways. When we are in routine, it’s so easy to be stuck in our own minds, in our own cars, in our own cubicle; continuing the patterns of whatever thoughts cycle in and out. But when stationed in unfamiliar lands and going on adventures, the routine is on pause, a halt or an end. We can gain a new viewpoint. A few people came and talked with me at random about their lives throughout my journey and it was so heartwarming and surprising. I was grateful for their trust and their stories. I saw busy parents walking with their spirited babies embracing a whole new life experience. I shared smiles and laughs with strangers.

And I don’t want to exclude acts of kindness as well. Long ago, when I traveled alone, I remember the hospitality I received from people I call my friends now. Without knowing me at all, they taught me so many things about their country and open the doors to their homes and lives and showed me kindness I’ve never felt or seen before. I remember feeling so much gratitude and fortune and inclusion to be there at that time in my life. Similarly, on this trip to Hawaii, there were kind beings who gave me their walking stick for a long hike and a swimming raft without hesitation and with complete selflessness. These gestures lifted me up. I felt so honored  and continued their paying forward. It felt natural to exist and to give than it was to receive.

Although traveling can mean going somewhere new or going home or commuting, there is this sense of coming back to what matters. It makes you think about your life as an observer sometimes and maybe a new appreciation of what is and what will be.

you are sunshine

you are sunshine

Warmth radiates from your beautiful smile.
Your eyes sparkle with inspiration and love
It reflects back to me a kind of honest, full energy.
Thank you for your open soul and sending fresh air
To breathe freely as it travels all over my body.
My mind & heart walk together in unison,
Singing the very songs I had as a young child.
You are sunshine and I am sunshine because of you.
Mother nature gave us all we need to survive.
We are all sunshine. We are all sunshine.

Hawaiian love

Hawaiian love

Sun shines bright on every single living being,
Overlooking shade in the rainforests
As lovers walk on the uneven roots of your trees
And paths created by waters rushing in floods.
The waterfall cleansed my soul as it did my lungs.

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Moved my heart in an unfamiliar way,
Freely allowing me to breathe, explore and evolve.
The long journey to the safety of your arms,
Worth the wait for the embrace you gave.

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In harmony, animals and plants create this symphony
That they can only play, as peacocks walk by,
Butterflies flutter on, giraffes stand tall
And flowers burst in color in nature’s way.

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You are giving to all who come and give as they give.
Ease of views to those who want,
But also challenges to those who seek more.
There is a peace here unlike any other.
A meaningful experience created by the explorer,
If they are willing to embrace the Hawaiian love.

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